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Top Ten Relationship Fuck-ups of 2007

Alright, let me explain. This was SUPPOSED to be a kick ass piece of writing that would have been awesomely relevant a month ago, but I never finished it. These are what I believe to be the worst desicions as far as relationships go on television shows in the last season. Beware, it is very subjective and kinda harsh. So here's what I had done so far:

Skate: Those poor Skaters. Those poor, poor Skaters. For a short, glimmering moment in time, they thought they had won. “Kate will make her choice” they said. This was closely followed by hot cage sex. To quote Happy Potter, “All was well”, but just like their wizard counterparts, we know, all was NOT well. Harry married Ginny and Kate was still Kate. It was silly of us to believe she would suddenly be capable of making a decision. Instead, we were left with a string of moments where Kate breaks both Sawyer and jack’s hearts again & again. Everybody loses. At least the Skaters can be thankful they got some action. Which is why Sawyer/Kate is placed only slightly higher than,

Jate: Okay, I don’t even know what happened here. I think I need a hardcore Jater to explain this ship to me ‘cause the non-communication between these two confuses me. Please, please let me be with someone who I can be straightforward with, if any of my relationships are like this I’ll have to shoot someone. On the other hand, I’m not saying that these two couldn’t have a great relationship, they look hot together, they’ve shown chemistry in their happy/fighting moments, it’s just that the writers don’t seem to want them to. I don’t ship Jate or Skate, and I think I’d be more likely to if they hadn’t made such a big deal out of either/or. Shows that just have relationships from the start are more likely to have me go along with them.

Meredith/Derek: See, this is why I didn’t love this couple as much as the rest of the world did. Both of these characters didn’t ever really interest me, and as much as I didn’t want them to hook up with any of my beloved support cast, I knew that if they got together the angst, miscommunication and bizarre logic they seem to be so fond of would become boring and tiresome. Oh, and guess what, it did! Now I’m not completely blaming it on Team Merder. No, this is another instance where the blame lays solely on the writers. I don’t believe these characters were beyond having an awesome relationship, couldn’t we just have some happy/fun scenes? (I know we did have some, but the happy didn’t outweigh the angst). Maybe TV couples that are ‘meant’ to be together aren’t meant to actually be compatible. I don’t know, I’m relatively new to this primetime TV thing, and haven’t actually seen the end of any shows. Do the main couples from shows fight continually throughout the seasons, only to be put together at the end, even though the show has proven they have no chance of living happily together? Enlighten me people!

Wilson/Cuddy: Let me clarify, I know they didn’t actually get together but they played around with the idea enough to build a significant fanbase. *SLAPS* Bad House MD, bad! What are they going to do, spend their whole time together bitching about House? ‘Cause that’s all they do, ever. Stop putting bad ideas in peoples heads that they will jump on just because it easily slips in with their HouseCam shipping. Cuddy needs to go find a strong man from outside the current Houseverse, preferably one that ISN’T best friends with the man she needs to learn how to stand up to. Wilson needs to stay single and flirt with everyone, forever <3.

Peter/Claire (Heroes): *BAM* Right in the balls! That was just mean!
I can just imagine the writers sitting there in their writing room. All of them bitter because their quality writing and TV shows have been turned into a sad mutation of super shipping fangirls and slash writing. It was time for them to get even.
One writer says to the other, “I know what we can do, let’s take two really hot chracters, give them the most chemistry any two characters can possibly have, and then make them RELATED!”
Oh, and even after it was known they were uncle and niece, they still punished us. The writers are laughing their arses off as they watch us get frustrated with lines such as “When I met you, I finally felt like I was a part of something”
The biggest problem is, this doesn’t even punish the super shipping fangirls. They’re not going to let a little thing like incest stop them. No, the only fans this hurts are the sane ones. Thanks a lot writers.

House/Cameron (House MD): I have always been a HouseCam shipper. I like what Cameron brings out in House and I like what House brings out in Cameron. However, season 3 has me seriously doubting my ship!
I hate and love that House MD can take a character I like, make me hate them and then make me hopelessly in love with them in only the course of 3 episodes. It’s an incredible skill of the writers for them to create a show where the characters can change so incredibly, but I didn’t want to hate Cameron!
Do you know how frustrating it is for me? Because I’m Aussie and get spoiled for shows and can’t be bothered to download, I knew a HouseCam kiss was coming up. I didn’t know the circumstances, so I was super excited, but what do I get? A blackmail kiss!
Look, I don’t care if you eventually want to go in a different direction, just don’t patronise me! “Oh, we gave them a kiss, they’ll be happy.” UGH!

1. George/Izzie (Grey’s Anatomy): What. The. FUCK? I mean, seriously. Where did the dignity go? Do these people realise what they are doing when they casually throw another pairing together? Do they realise George was my favourite character in season one, and Izzie was my favourite character from season two? Okay. I had a guy friend who I once told ‘we’re kinda like George and Izzie but without the crazy’. Well, FUCKS TO THAT! I’m lucky he has absolutely no interest in Grey’s Anatomy apart from wanting to screw Meredith or it could’ve been awkward. YOU’RE MAKING IT AWKWARD WRITER PEOPLE! Just, why? Why not let George be a man for once? Why reduce my two once favourite characters to a point where I am ready to discard them to the place of no interest like Meredith and Derek?

You know what, screw you two. My new favourite character is Alex. I don’t know why I didn’t just go for the anti-hero character in the first place. It’s what I do with other shows. Anti-hero’s won’t fuck you up. They’ll just be snarky and damaged. Nice people suck.

All I knew was that George/Izzie would be number one, number the others accordingly. Oh, and remind me never to try and be funny with so much writing again....


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
Oh, don't get me started on my broken/disappointing ships...
I doubt my blood pressure could take it.
Sep. 27th, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's kinda more aggravating and war inducing than funny, but let's forget that and party with Snape!
Sep. 27th, 2007 02:40 am (UTC)
Yes, I can think of several... fun things to do while partying with Snape...
Sep. 27th, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)
Hey, I have an icon to reply to that too!
Sep. 27th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
Heh. It was certainly an enjoyable read, whether I agree on all or not. Go Snarkalicious Lou!
Sep. 27th, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)
Who needs a world where we all agree, honestly. I just needed the rant :)
Sep. 28th, 2007 05:08 pm (UTC)
I think this is the most awesome post anywhere ever. That Peter/Claire thing is HILARIOUS. And oh so true -- cause the wackos are STILL shipping them. Eek.
Sep. 29th, 2007 01:13 am (UTC)
It's like shoone all over again, but worse...wait, no it's not, I like these characters! Which DOES make it worse. Agh! I'm so confused.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


Temple Of Mean

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